Wednesday, 17 May 2017 11:15

Site is online again and my status report

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I'm sorry for the interruption and the site being offline, but I'm currently fighting with a very deep depression. I'm currently homeless, have no income and am trying to find a job desperately, so far without success, which is also hard because I can't constantly smile like it is expected, which seems to be a requirement for finding a job. I lost the house that I was renting last year and additionally to it also my job.  I'm currently in a crisis of being, where I'm asking myself, which function I do have in the feedism scene, if any, if I do have a mission, like I feel I do, or if I'm just deluding myself.

This is part also because I'm fighting with the superficiality of the online feedism scene, the coming and going of people, that pretty much everybody has no interest in deeper connections, which deeply frustrates me, because I'm looking for them, but currently have none. It is a little grotesque, even people that complain themselves, that others are superficial to them and cut off contact after a while, do the exactly same thing with me.

Last Christmas I suddenly got very sick and was in bed for 3 weeks, I checked my mailbox on any social network and found them empty, not a message, nothing, also on Feabie and I realized that I could have just died any well, nobody would have even noticed or...cared??? And that just made me angry and frustrated. I'm longing for these deeper connections that go forther than just feeding and to people that take feeding serious and stand by their preference for gaining and fat and don't constantly keep running away from it. I feel so very isolated in the world, being so advanced with my preference and love for fat and fattening and find nobody that I can share it with.

Last modified on Wednesday, 17 May 2017 12:21

Ich bin Rubens_Feeder und der Macher dieser Site. Ich bin Feeder und Feedee zugleich.
Ich bin auf folgenden Netzwerken: (Tublr stirbt leider langsam vor sich hin, seit XXX gebannt wurde)


Hi, I'm Rubens_Feeder and the creator of this website. I'm both a feeder and feedee.

Tumblr is slowly dying since the banned XXX.

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